Celebration of Carmen Mah

Scenes from the Day

rjmah — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 03:00:41 +0000

The minutiae of the day seem to be leaping off the pages ready to be included as a scene in an extended novel or a character ready to be developed.

Home Schooling. I did a few ski runs yesterday with a home-schooled kid who was maybe 8-9 years old. He sort of picked me out in the line to ride the lift and do a few runs. I think he wanted an adult to go with so he could bypass the whole ski-off, red sticker thing. Most regular schools require the kids to show their skiing skills so they can get red-stickers to go on the larger hills. Melinda had always easily done this. I didn’t really check his tag but I’m sure he realised from the other home-school kids that if they went with their parents they didn’t need a sticker. He complained how the other kids were fraidy-cats of the big hills. It was a bit surprising that he wanted to do a few runs with me and that he pretty much yattered away on the ride up, like he rarely got to talk to other people. Sort of a social, anti-social behaviour. It sounded like his parents don’t ski and weren’t there.

I could imagine the mother searching on the home school website and saying, ”Oh look they have a home school ski trip planned. Don’t you think it would be fun to go to learn skiing with other kids your age? I remember having fun on my school ski trip but I never really took up the sport. You can learn from professionals.” Meanwhile the mom is scheming what she might do on her “day off”.

It’s a little different going on a trip with kids you see maybe a couple times a year versus ones you see in class everyday.

Why you should not sleep under an electric blanket: I overheard this at lunch that put me off eating. Someone they knew had started to smell something really rotting coming from the apartment below for a few days. When they finally went in they found someone had died in their sleep under an electric blanket which was still on. The body was being devoured by worms and maggots. Seems like a scene from a horror flick.

Occupy Wall Street

rjmah — Tue, 18 Oct 2011 13:15:02 +0000

The U.S. is done. Finished as the sole leading superpower. For decades countries aspired to be more American, taking their culture, their media and their currency. No more. The tide is turning. Americans need to look at the lessons the UK learned with at the end of British colonialism. While Americans never had formal colonies, the way international market share was free given over in most countries is similar. Sustainability does not just apply to the environment. The unlimited growth model of capitalism is unrealistic without exploiting new markets. But a government that plans for zero growth is unfathomable. Those hard decisions need to be made before the same mistakes that Japan and third world countries have made, happen on a colossal global economic scale. In that sense, capitalism as we have known it for the last few decades is over.

Old Videos

rjmah — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 14:21:05 +0000

Going through my You Tube videos looking for potential copyright violations. Came across this one from 2006 when Carmen, Melinda and I went to see the Rogers Chinese Lantern Festival. Someone had given Carmen tickets.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rCBjJNKc74

Brian’s speech at Karen and Joe’s wedding -Punta Cana

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9BbYMTNI68

Leonard Cohen

rjmah — Wed, 11 May 2011 12:11:52 +0000

I was rolling down the highway to move Melinda in Ottawa and I popped in a Leonard Cohen CD that I borrowed from the library. This was the first song. He always seems to say things right on. I love the line about being sold a bill of goods.

Song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpzCiyt_uHM

Lyrics:

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/leonardcohen/inmysecretlife.html

May 7

rjmah — Sat, 07 May 2011 14:40:02 +0000

Hi Hon,

It would be our 28th anniversary today.

It was a sunny Saturday in 1983 when we got married by Jerome in his Anglican church. People did enjoy our weddings photos at your funeral.

I have a busy day today. Rotary training 8-2 pm, Soo Wong’s nomination announcement 3:30 – 5 pm, Bike ride to Montreal social in the evening.

Everything is fine but I am getting tired of living without you but I guess I have no choice.

All my love,

Robert

The Royal Wedding

rjmah — Fri, 29 Apr 2011 22:09:24 +0000

OK I’ve been emotionally soppy for the last year. Both happy and sad things could trigger tears. The shear satisfaction on their Royal faces as they exchanged vows. I could feel a happy tear welling up. Then I thought about how Carmen and I had exchanged vows 28 years ago in May. I reflected on how our wedding in an Anglican church was similar in format but not Westminster Abbey. How the trees and greenery made The Abbey look absolutely brilliant!

After the balcony, news coverage turned to symbolism that made Princess Diana part of Prince William’s and Kate’s big day. Then I thought about how my kids might get married. I thought about my nephew who will be married next month who has lost his father. Then I just lost it.

More on Daytona

rjmah — Tue, 26 Apr 2011 13:29:40 +0000

I had a good trip down the U.S. coast (lots warmer there). It was a getaway; also an opportunity to do some training bike rides. It was also a nostalgic trip, as it was the first road trip for Carmen and I in May 1982 to Daytona Beach. That trip had started in New York City. We spent time in Washington and Virginia Beach. We bought a basket of male blue crabs off a fishing boat at the pier and ended up boiling them on a Coleman stove at the campsite in the dark. We picked strawberries in Virginia Beach. The black woman organising the pickers on to the rows would shout out “Come on Down” like on the game show Price is Right.

On the way back, we stopped at a beach, I think in South Carolina. We were collecting shells on a sand bar in a river’s mouth. There were a bunch of other people there including a someone fishing. Suddenly, we noticed that no one else was on the sand bar with us. The tide was coming in and the sand bridge to the mainland was now a strong flowing river that was over our waists. It was the first time I knew that Carmen was terrified of the water.

Easter Sunday

rjmah — Sun, 24 Apr 2011 13:10:07 +0000

It’s one year in another sense. Alicia said she will always remember that her mom died on Easter Sunday. A day when the whole family was there. A day that was warm, bright and sunny. A day of resurrection.

Daytona Beach

rjmah — Sat, 23 Apr 2011 04:30:49 +0000

Drove from Boston to Virginia Beach, Myrtle Beach, Daytona Beach

(Fri. Apr. 15). I didn’t calculate the distance from Myrtle Beach too well. I didn’t leave until around noon. When I punched in my destination on the GPS, it said 7 ½ hours. I thought it was going to be more like 5. It was a long drive but I arrived at twilight and could still go on the beach. The moon is almost full so you can really go on the beach and easily see anytime of night.

It was a really good day. Had the included breakfast then I roller bladed in the morning. I’m really starting to feel comfortable in them. Never fell yet but still wear my wrist guards. I think it would be hard to drive back if I sprained them. The feel is very similar to ice skates. I needed make a quick turn in a driveway and I just did a crosscut without really thinking about it. On the way back, I rolled into the neighbouring lobby and asked for Internet access code. The receptionist just gave me the slip of paper and luckily didn’t ask if I was staying there. I knew I could connect to their wireless from my room. My hotel had daily paid Internet.

After that, ocean then pool. Read a bit by the pool. Cruised the “strip” before going to Publix deli for a lunch sandwich, some fruit and drinks. Did the Internet during peak sunburn times 2-3:30, also a little nap in the shade at the pool. I bought a small canvas air mattress at Publix to play in the waves. Did that then pool.

Then I rode my bike down the beach. The tire tracks where the cars drive are harder to ride along than flat damp sand. Unfortunately the tide was really coming in so there wasn’t much left to ride on by the time I got near the boardwalk. I just rode on 1A1. There’s a wide shoulder and traffic wasn’t moving too fast through the busy section. Walked the boardwalk. There was a cheerleading competition on and lots of groups walking around in uniform. The ride back was really fast with the wind at my back. Did another ocean – pool swim.

Checked the Internet for the nearest Cracker Barrel. There are two in the Daytona Beach area. Went and it wasn’t busy at all. Drove past the International Speedway on the way back into downtown. Found a karaoke bar and sang David Bowie’s Space Oddity and Louis Armstrong’s What a Wonderful World.

Came back. Refilled the ice in the cooler and drank some of the wine I had bought (One bottle lasted the whole trip.) Slept and got up at sunrise.

The Second Year

rjmah — Wed, 06 Apr 2011 13:12:29 +0000

I dreaded reaching April. To have to say Carmen died last April seems so long ago.

Many bereaved widows and widowers I’ve talked to say the second year seems hardest. The first year is filled with activity, adjustments and sympathetic acknowledgement. There is the assumption that you will move onwards after a year although the reality is the absolute finality of death is just starting to sink in.